tjameswhite.com

My daughter received a Banzai™ Wigglin’ Waterpillar™ for her birthday. I faithfully present to you the “Safety Checklist”:

Setup:

1. Before set up: Check under and around Wigglin’ Waterpillar™ for sharp objects, rocks, sticks, lawn sprinklers or any other object that can cause injury or damage to the product. Set up on flat lawn surface, free of depressions or high spots.
2. The product should be at least 10 feet (305 cm) away on all slides from trees, walls holes, garden equipment, pools and other objects.
3. Connect a standard water hose (not included) to the attachment on the base of base.

[...]

After Use:

1. Turn off water hose when product is not in use.
2. Detach garden hose.
3. Do not store Wigglin’ Waterpillar™ until all parts are completely dry, away from children, to prevent suffocation.

This is exactly how the instructions appeared. Any and all typos have been faithfully reproduced. I have only left out the “Use” section as it wasn’t very funny.

From today’s Rochester Post comes one of the strangest crime watch notices:

According to a police report, a tree was stolen from the backyard of a home ….
The tree may have been chopped down and taken away, the report states.

May have been chopped down? They aren’t sure? Who chops down a tree to steal it?

Today I had my first MRI and, frankly, that is one ridiculous device. If you are unfamiliar with an MRI, in a nutshell, it is a big noisy magnet that creates several slice images of the body part in question.
(more…)

How does a pickle live on the Earth?
How does an eyeball go for a walk?
How does a lightbulb eat?

While looking through our Atlas of the World this morning, I pointed out a beautiful satellite photo of Mt. Etna. “Look Olivia, this is a volcano,” said I. “What’s a volcano?” said she.

We then spent the next ½ hour on YouTube looking at volcano eruptions.

Having instant internet access and rich media sites helped her understand a volcano better than I was able to describe it, and we had a great bonding experience watching lava flow.

Thank you 21st century.