June 8, 2009
My daughter received a Banzai™ Wigglin’ Waterpillar™ for her birthday. I faithfully present to you the “Safety Checklist”:
Setup:
- Before set up: Check under and around Wigglin’ Waterpillar™ for sharp objects, rocks, sticks, lawn sprinklers or any other object that can cause injury or damage to the product. Set up on flat lawn surface, free of depressions or high spots.
- The product should be at least 10 feet (305 cm) away on all slides from trees, walls holes, garden equipment, pools and other objects.
- Connect a standard water hose (not included) to the attachment on the base of base.
[...]
After Use:
- Turn off water hose when product is not in use.
- Detach garden hose.
- Do not store Wigglin’ Waterpillar™ until all parts are completely dry, away from children, to prevent suffocation.
This is exactly how the instructions appeared. Any and all typos have been faithfully reproduced. I have only left out the “Use” section as it wasn’t very funny.
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March 13, 2009
From today’s Rochester Post comes one of the strangest crime watch notices:
According to a police report, a tree was stolen from the backyard of a home ….
The tree may have been chopped down and taken away, the report states.
May have been chopped down? They aren’t sure? Who chops down a tree to steal it?
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February 27, 2009
Today I had my first MRI and, frankly, that is one ridiculous device. If you are unfamiliar with an MRI, in a nutshell, it is a big noisy magnet that creates several slice images of the body part in question.
(more…)
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August 25, 2008
The past couple of months have seen a multitude of doctor visits (in addition to the stitches). Part routine physical (which, at 40, involves some new phrases), part finally looking into various aches and pains. After the physical, blood tests, trip for an EMG and to a hand surgeon the results are:
- Minor carpel tunnel syndrome in the left hand (the hand without many problems)
- Ganglion cyst in right wrist
- torn ligament in right middle finger (which hurts like a bitch and will take a year to heal)
- possible thyroid issues
The good news, the rest of me is just fine and dandy. I continue to have good cholesterol levels and the other test all look good.
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July 15, 2008
Sunday brought stitches for me,
Monday a broken toe for she.
Tuesday's the day for scorching hot pan
With which I have burnt my hand.
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March 11, 2008
Today is the day. On this date 40 years ago, I was born. Yes, 40.
To celebrate, Sarah took me away for the weekend. I had no idea what we were doing until we were there. She booked a room at the new MGM Grand Detroit with dinner at Bourbon Steak. Jack and Kristen meet up with us for drinks, dessert and a little gambling.
I capped the night by playing Let It Ride from midnight to 2:00. I sat down with $100 and walked with $360. No, it’s not a lot, but it was better than walking with 0.
In addition to the decade change for me, today is also my mom’s birthday, so a big Happy Birthday to her.
Finally, I have also now lived in the Detroit metro area longer than I lived in the suburbs of Grand Rapids.
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February 29, 2008
Twelve years ago:
I was waiting in Sarah’s apartment with champagne, roses and a ring.
She said yes.
Now:
I sit in our beautiful house listening to her and our daughter upstairs getting ready for bed.
The risk of that night was certainly worth it.
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June 19, 2007
Apparently we don’t cook much. Or at least we don’t use the oven much — ours died more than a week ago.
We started to look into replacements, but while stores sell the size we need none of them actually have them in stock. I really don’t want to by a new oven sight-unseen.
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June 4, 2007
Hard to believe that two years ago today I became a father. Yes, my little girls second birthday was today.
Happy birthday pumpkin.
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